The Bad Touch




Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought

Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about

So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts

Yes I'm Siskel yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up

You've had enough of two hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds

I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns

Come quicker than FedEx never reach an apex like Coca-Cola stock you are

inclined

To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time

(Do it now)



CHORUS:

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals

So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

(Do it again now)

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals

So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

(Gettin' horny now)



Love the kind you clean up with the mop and bucket

Like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it

Hieroglyphics let me Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas

But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft Advisory"

So if capsize on your thighs high tide B-5 you sunk my battleship

Please turn me on I'm Mr Coffee with an automatic drip

So show me your's I'll show you mine "Tool Time" you'll Lovett just like Lyle

And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch "X-Files"

(Do it now)



CHORUS.



You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals

So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

(Do it again now)

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals

So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

(Do it now)



CHORUS.








Bloodhound Gang "Mope"



We gonna drop this next bomb for a money makin' playa

that ain't with us no mo.

Yeah, Notorious B.I.G.

Hell no, we gonna do this for a gangbanging thug

that never seen it comin'.

Yeah, Tupac Shakur.

Nah bitch, I'm talkin' ‘bout motherfuckin' Falco and shit.

What? Falco?



Rock me Amadeus

Rock me Amadeus

Rock me Amadeus

Rock me Amadeus



Tried to O.D. on the Cold-Eeze

"Golden Girls" got me "Sweatin' To The Oldies"

Hanging out like Double Ds sip Long Island Iced Teas

Wrote to Mayor McCheese "Send a Shamrock Shake please!"

Three O' Clock on the dot time to cruise for Eighth graders

Rather tape the Weather Channel so that I can watch it later

Reruns of Rerun so "What's Happening?"

Dee's knocked up and Rog on crack again

Deep throat a whole Nutty Buddy

Make whoopie to a batch of Silly Putty

Make a Spam and Colgate sandwich and ate it

Go through "National Geographic" and draw panties on the natives

So I like to dance naked in front of my pets

But my cat was inattentive so I sent him U.P.S.

Playin' spin the bottle with my mom

I watch "Cops" with no pants on



Must've blown a fuse nothing's going on

Lamer than the Pope climb the walls like King Kong

Buggin' out like Tori Spelling's eyes

Deader than the parents on a "Party of Five"

Luciano Pavoratti on a treadmill

Not going nowhere slim chance we will

Less hip than Bo Jackson bored like wood

Dick around like Frankie Goes To Hollywood



Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it

Relax don't do it when you wanna cum

Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it

Relax don't do it when you wanna cum



Nowhere to go I can't wake up late

Just sit around and wait for my Old Spice to activate

Stalemate jailbait in "My So-Called Life" imprisonment

Amazing what a good breakfast pickles make isn't it?

I like to pretend I'm speed reading

Never lose the sight of the thrill of sneezing

Don't need a shower today just some Brut by Faberge

Smell the ass of my jeans clean they'll do another day

And I recycle I sniff my own farts

I dial the wrong number hope a conversation starts

I mean I might as well be listenin' to Journey

Givin' myself a mullet hook the Flowbee to the Kirby

Make a prank call pretendin' I'm a mime

Get stuck in traffic just to pass the time

Sent a letter in the mail in Braille to Johnny Quest

Send me back my Etch-A-Sketch



Must've blown a fuse nothing's going on

Lamer than the Pope climb the walls like King Kong

Buggin' out like Tori Spelling's eyes

Deader than the parents on a "Party of Five"

Luciano Pavoratti on a treadmill

Not going nowhere slim chance we will

Less hip than Bo Jackson bored like wood

Dick around like Frankie Goes To Hollywood



Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it

Relax don't do it when you wanna cum

Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it

Relax don't do it when you wanna cum



I'm mighty tighty whitey and I'm smugglin' plums

When you wanna cum

I'm mighty tighty whitey and I'm smugglin' plums

When you wanna cum

I'm mighty tighty whitey and I'm smugglin' plums

When you wanna cum

I'm mighty tighty whitey and I'm smugglin' plums

When you wanna cum



Yo yo yo yo yo! What it is motherfuckers?

Aw shit, here comes Pac-Man.

Hey Pac-Man, what's up?

Me you bitches! I'm high on crack! Wanna freebase?

No Pac-Man drugs are bad!

Nope can't help you man.

Pussies. Whoa! Holy shit!



Must've blown a fuse nothing's going on

Lamer than the Pope climb the walls like King Kong

Buggin' out like Tori Spelling's eyes

Deader than the parents on a "Party of Five"

Luciano Pavoratti on a treadmill

Not going nowhere slim chance we will

Less hip than Bo Jackson bored like wood

Dick around like Frankie Goes To Hollywood



Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it

Relax don't do it when you wanna cum

Relax don't do it when you wanna go to it

Relax don't do it when you wanna cum



Holy macaroni

Holy macaroni

Holy macaroni

Holy macaroni










Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo




Vulcanize the whoopee stick

In the ham wallet



Cattle prod the oyster ditch

With the lap rocket



Batter dip the cranny ax

In the gut locker



Retrofit the pudding hatch

Ooh la la

With the boink swatter



If i get you in the loop when I make a point to be straight with you then

In lieu of the innuendo in the end know my intent though

I brazillian wax poetic so pathetically

I don't wanna beat around the bush



Foxtrot Unifrom Charlie Kilo

Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo



Marinate the nether rod

In the squish mitten



Power drill the yippee bog

With the dude piston



Pressure wash the quiver bone

In the bitch wrinkle



Cannonball the fiddle cove

Ooh la la

With the pork steeple



If i get you in the loop when I make a point to be straight with you then

In lieu of the innuendo in the end know my intent though

I brazillian wax poetic so pathetically

I don't wanna beat around the bush



Foxtrot Unifrom Charlie Kilo

Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo



Put the you know what in the you know where

Put the you know what in the you know where

Put the you know what in the you know where

Put the you know what in the you know where pronto








Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss





Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby



Dog will hunt i'm the front end loader travoltin' over so try my slam on for size

Drive stick with that kubg-fu grip let the banana split and watch it go right to your thighs

Cop a feel copperfield style abracadabra that bra do you think i can pull it off?

Wanna bang around? just jot me down on your to-do list under "put out like a fire" 'cause



I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this

All you need is my uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss

I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this

All you need is my uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss



Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby



Edible strange how do i get in your pants when you're tick tockin' them

Serious levis? so tight can't be classified that's why i'm here to fill that opening

Make a seasoned pass to mount that ass and bob hope that i might one night stand a chance

Let's go feng shui the fuck around my digs like a superball bring that sunny side up and



I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this

All you need is my uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss

I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this

All you need is my uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss



Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby



Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss

Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss

Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss

Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss

Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss

Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss

Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss

Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss



I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this

All you need is my uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss

I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this

All you need is my uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss



Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby



Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss

Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss

Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss

Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss

Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss

Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss

Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss

Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss








No Hard Feelings



Ain't my job

To fuck you on your birthday

Ain't my job

To fuck you on your birthday anymore

Ain't my job

To fuck you on your birthday

Ain't my job

To fuck you on your birthday anymore



Maybe you got screwed but i dumped you 'cause you ain't nothin' but trash

I put out despite the fact that you're like a hawaiian punch moustache

Right under my nose thinking i'm so colonel klink oblivious

But how could i nazi? you got off scot-free 'cause i know this means it



Ain't my job

To fuck you on your birthday

Ain't my job

To fuck you on your birthday anymore

Ain't my job

To fuck you on your birthday

Ain't my job

To fuck you on your birthday anymore



If i want to be repeatedly shit on i'll go make dutch porn

When roughly translated even your naked truth means squat and what's more

I'm missing you like a hijacked flight on september 11th

I don't know who got on you but i'm not wrong in thanking them since it



Ain't my job

To fuck you on your birthday

Ain't my job

To fuck you on your birthday anymore

Ain't my job

To fuck you on your birthday

Ain't my job

To fuck you on your birthday anymore



Maybe it ain't your birthday but then again

Ya know i wouldn't give a fuck

When what i shoulda got is over ya sooner so now

I'm just gonna wrap it up



Maybe it ain't your birthday but then again

Ya know i wouldn't give a fuck

When what i shoulda got is over ya sooner so now

I'm just gonna wrap it up



Ain't my job

I'm just gonna wrap it up

To fuck you on your birthday

I'm just gonna wrap it up

Ain't my job

I'm just gonna wrap it up

To fuck you on your birthday anymore

I'm just gonna wrap it up

Ain't my job

I'm just gonna wrap it up

To fuck you on your birthday

I'm just gonna wrap it up

Ain't my job

I'm just gonna wrap it up

To fuck you on your birthday anymore

I'm just gonna wrap it up